Children are born with an innate sense of fairness, a sense of justice. They have a natural tendency to want to be fair and just.
They want to help those who are less fortunate and to see people get what they deserve. The problem is that those around them easily influence them.
They can easily be made to be less fair and just. Sometimes, their influence is so subtle that they don’t even realize that they are unfair and unjust. They do it because everyone else is doing it.
Have you ever heard someone say, “It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just a little favoritism.” When you tell your child that it is OK to be a little unfair and unjust, that is the beginning of the end of them having a sense of fairness and justice.
The problem is that everyone is different, and no one is exactly like anyone else. What is a little unfair to one person may be a big deal to another person.
Using Rules as Weapons
Sometimes, in the heat of a moment, parents forget that they have the power to make up the rules. They forget that they are the ultimate arbiters of justice.
They can take away privileges or even ground their children for the entire summer or longer. The problem is that when parents use this kind of power, they are sending the message that fairness and justice are not that important.
Not Setting Limits
It is very easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we are supposed to let our kids get away with as much as possible. Parents are told to never put their children in the corner, never take their toys away, and never take away their electronics.
The problem is that one day when you finally set a limit, your child will have no concept of why it is wrong to have crossed that line.
Being Intolerant of Mistakes
It is so easy for parents to get angry when their children make a mistake. They can be intolerant of the mistakes that their children make.
The problem is that if you are tolerant of mistakes, you are telling your child that it is OK to make mistakes and that it is not necessary to correct them.
Being Intolerant of Disagreement
It is so easy to get angry when your child disagrees with you. It is so easy to tell them that they are wrong and that you are right.
The problem is that if you set this kind of limit, you are telling your child that it is OK not to understand why someone else is right and that it is OK not to understand that they are wrong.